Back in the 80s, imported chocolates were still very expensive. Cadbury was such a big deal and you could only find it in Cash&Carry. Dahil nagtitipid sila, my sneaky and manipulative parents would buy some Cloud 9, take it out of its wrapper and put it inside the Cadbury wrapper (from their left over imported chocolates..the chocolates they didn’t want to share with me). So little 4 year old Patty would be munching away thinking it was Cadbury, pero Cloud 9 lang pala! HMPH. Mental and Emotional Abuse ang tawag dun, kaya pala ang dami kong issues ngayon. Well, to this day I still love Cloud 9, chewy nutty heaven in a bar 🙂
Being a chocolate connoisseur is no joke. It takes years of practice, it takes skill, talent and determination. Practice–> You must learn how to chew and swallow with minimal effort, you gotta ninja that chocolate into your stomach. It takes a couple of tries before you get the hang of it. Trial and error lang yan! Skill–>To master the fine art of unwrapping the chocolate’s packaging with one hand in 5 seconds, which can be quite tricky for beginners. Of course, chicken na chicken lang ito para sa isang choco-henyong tulad ko. Talent–>I’ve had to sing and dance to acquire the rarest of the rare. And Determination–>You must be determined to finish a box of chocolates on your own, with no one to help you!!! Oh the sheer torture of having to devour a whole pack by yourself. Talk about injustice! I do take this Chocolate Business seriously and I feel it’s my responsibility..my duty to mankind to spread love for chocolates. I’ve encountered some people who are NOT so fond of chocolates, I won’t name names, itago nalang natin sila sa pangalang “Loo-Hu-Sers”. Chocolate Apathy is a mystery to me, some say it’s because Chocolates are TOO sweet at hindi daw sila mahilig sa matamis. WTH? It’s like saying “I don’t like WATER because it’s too thirst quenching” or “I don’t like the SUN because it’s too yellow”. These people are FOOLS, I tell you, Fools who don’t deserve to live on this precious planet! Hahaha, I think I’m getting a bit too carried away with this.
Since the year is about to end..I feel it is time for the DAPATTY’S INTERNATIONAL CHOCOLATE AWARDS 2011. I say “International” dahil alam niyo naman worldwide ang kasikatan ng aking blog..I have 3 followers in Europe (my sister, her husband, and the dog) and 4 followers in the States (my cousins) and 1 follower in Tunisia (someone I met on a boat). See guys, I’m going GLOBAL. With these BIG numbers, you know I’m ready to conquer the bigger International market! Mwahahahahahaha (that’s my power woman laugh). As a former preschool teacher, I believe that every child is a winner..and in this case, every chocolate is a winner. So I’ve decided to make each chocolate the best in a specific category, this way walang magtatampo sa kin..mahirap na, I wouldn’t want to piss off these chocolate bars.
BEST SALTY-SWEET: M&Ms Pretzels
As a fan of the salty-sweet-crunch combo, this definitely wins! Sadly, this M&Ms edition is only available in the States. Think M&Ms Crispy, only saltier. A close second goes to the Royce Chocolate Dipped Potato Chips.
BEST IN LAYERING: Ferrero Rocher
These world famous golden balls are one of my ultimate favorites. The packaging alone suggests that you’re in for a treat. You have a nutty chocolate coating, then a crunchy wafer, then a creamy filling, and finally a hazelnut to greet you at the end. Layers of happiness in each ball!
BEST “MELT-IN-YOUR MOUTH”: Royce Nama in Milk Chocolate and White Chocolate
The Japanese always seem to get it right. Cars, Bullet Trains, Robots, Computers, Ninjas, Sushi..they’re known for being the BEST at almost everything. And now, they’ve decided to be the BEST in chocolates also!!! Ano ba yan mga Japs, pagbigyan niyo naman yung mga Belgians! Chocolates na nga lang yung kaya nilang ipagmalaki (chocolates, waffles and Jean Claude Van Damme) and you decided to steal their thunder?! These NAMA chocolates by Royce are BEAUTIFUL. So beautiful the first time I tasted them I wanted to cry. They melt so perfectly in your mouth, they’re not too sweet and overpowering..just beautiful..like a newborn baby!
BEST “KEEPING WITH THE BUDGET”: Ricoa Flat Tops and ChocNut
Mura talaga, as in mapapmura ka sa sarap! Hahaha! I kid! But seriously, these two chocolate brands are proudly local and so delicious! I could finish a whole pack in one sitting..and trust me, I can’t sit still in one position very long so I always wipe out a whole bag in a couple of minutes. I eat chocolates so fast, I always have to remind myself to breathe.
BEST “NABIBILI SA DUTY FREE”: Guylian Seashells
These chocolate seashells are always the best pasalubongs from balikbayans. Famous for gracing the aisles of the Duty Free chocolates section, these chocolate sea creatures are actually quite delicious!!! I love the Praline edition best.
BEST IN CHOCOLATE VERSATILITY: Nutella
Do you want some chocolate in your waffle? How about on your pancake? Chocolate crepe, anyone? Nutella dito, Nutella doon. Nutella here, Nutella there. It’s the most spreadable chocolate-hazelnut joy you’ll ever find in the market. If you want a chocolate covered Macbook Air or a chocolate covered Iphone 4s..simple, just Nutella it!!!
“ANG FILING MO NAMAN” CHOCOLATE: Lindt Pistachio
The best PMS cure in the history of DaPatty. This has been proven to be the best de-crankinizer. The Swiss know Chocolates and they definitely didn’t stay neutral when they developed the Lindt Pistachio. Creamy Milk Chocolate with a Rich Pistachio Cream that bursts in your mouth! Y-U-M-M-Y.
BEST “WITH COFFEE” CHOCOLATE: After Eight
If you’re a fan of mint and chocolate then this is the perfect chocolate for you! It’s a light mint creme enveloped by a film of Dark Chocolate. It’s the perfect way to end a big meal. Since I’m not a big coffee drinker, I just enjoy the After Eights without any coffee.
PRAYING FOR A COMEBACK CHOCOLATE: Alpine White and Hershey’s HUGS
I’d like to start a petition and I will rally for a million signatures! Ibalik niyo yung Alpine White chocolate! I don’t know why they even bothered to phase it out!!! Uggghhhh. I’m also desperately missing the HUGS with white chocolate stripes!
I still have a long list of Chocolate winners but sadly work has been on hold for a good 30 minutes because of this useless Chocolate post of mine..so it’s back to reality for me!:) That was a good break however, time well spent on my life’s greatest passion: CHOCOLATES! Hahahaha. I’m one shallow person. Confeermed.