Every time people ask about us about our wedding and we reply, they always have that “Bakit hindi kayo stressed?” face. It’s almost as if they are probing me to invent stressful scenarios just to be a “legit bride”. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that we are special and have been spared from wedding problems—we’ve had a TON of things to deal with but I guess Patrick and I are just not the types who dwell on the negative. Pat is a problem solver so it helps that he is always very proactive in approaching things. I, on the other hand, am very flexy-plexy–if a specific plan doesn’t work, I am quick to adjust and move to plan B.
No matter how simple you try to keep things, it’s virtually impossible to have a glitch free wedding..so early on Patrick and I have tried to keep an open mind about things. To accept that there are things that won’t go as planned, some expectations won’t be met, feelings will get hurt and people are bound to disappoint. Thankfully Patrick and I are the types who always try to find the humor IN EVERYTHING, I don’t know if this is us in denial or just some skewed way of coping. Minsan sa sobrang stressed namin ni Patrick, magtitinginan nalang kami at tatawa! We just say to ourselves “TSONG, bakit naman ganyan?!”. Hahaha! My friends are always bewildered by how I manage to make jokes out of the most dire situations. I remember calling my friend Stella about a problem the other day and we just ended up laughing and laughing non-stop like two weirdos. Pat even told me once that the problem with me is when I’m mad, I don’t express it well. My angry face just looks like I’m constipated. They always think I’m joking! Nobody takes me seriously! Kulang nalang magsuot ako ng tshirt na may nakasulat “GUYS GALIT AKO, PROMISE” Grrr. Hahaha!
I’m not saying I never get stressed, because I DO, and those close to me know this. I have my small circle of girlfriends who have acted as my shock absorbers and I would have gone Bridezilla (eating babies dipped in bbq sauce for dinner!) if it weren’t for them. Just like any couple entering marriage, we have had our share of problems, thankfully all manageable and within our capacity to deal with. So for all those planning their wedding I would like to encourage you just as my friends have encouraged me. This is my way of paying it forward and telling you that it’s OK to be stressed, it’s natural..just make sure you manage it properly. I’d like to share this passage from the book of Matthew, which has always brought comfort to me and has kept me focused on God’s plan..and I hope it helps you too.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned about weddings, it’s this–for every 1 wedding stress, you get 10 wedding blessings. It’s not an exact science, but I’m trying to express how proportionate things have been for us, in terms of “good and bad”. For every limitation caused by a budget constraint, we receive a generous surprise that overcompensates. For every difficult person we’ve had to deal with, we get more than a dozen people who have made our life much easier. For every LQ we’ve had in the course of our wedding planning, we learned more life lessons and grew even closer as a couple.
If God made life (or in our case, our wedding plans) smooth sailing and problem free then it won’t be as meaningful. The hitches and glitches are there for a reason. When it comes to the Lord’s plan, there are no accidents. He orchestrates every little detail and attaches a specific purpose to each event. God has just been SOOOO NICE TO US, that even if we encounter little problems—we probably feel bad about it for a day or two and then we just refocus our attention on the good things that we have been blessed with. Good always trumps the bad.
Patrick and I had this reflection after we had dinner with his close childhood friends (and their spouses). Instead of the usual bachelorette/stag party, they prepared a very meaningful “Marriage Prep Party” with lots of food and laughs. I really felt that it was a party custom built for me and Patrick. They prepared marriage related questions from opposing political views, dealing with jealousy, managing household chores, career choices and even SEX (hihihihi). Each couple answered and shared their views and it was so nice to hear what they had to say. They didn’t scrimp at all, they generously poured all the knowledge and wisdom they could possibly squeeze out–just so we could have a better understanding of what marriage is all about. To close, each couple gave us a special gift— a Bible verse dedicated to me and Pat. They each read the verses out loud and shared why they chose this specifically for us. No words can express how much I appreciated this.
We left Lea/Drew’s cute apartment with hearts filled with so much love. And I just looked at Patrick in a whole new light! I was just so thankful to have him in my life 🙂 🙂 It’s such a joy to have friends who are just overflowing in happiness for you! Thank you again to these sweet couples!