The ever-thoughtful folks at Juicy Couture sent me a special gift and I was over the moon. Mababaw na kung mababaw but when I saw the label on the paper bag “Patty Laurel-Filart”, I was smiling from ear to ear. So tadahhh, I documented the very first time someone used my hyphenated name. Although we’re not married yet, it was just a little happy moment for me. AND, to double the glee..I opened the package and saw “FILART” emblazoned on the chest part of this cute cream hoodie jacket! How adorable is that?!It’s actually a special service available in Juicy Couture Greenbelt and Rustans Makati. Boys, now you know what to get your girls for Christmas!:) Pat had a big grin on his face when he saw me in the Juicy hoodie, he said “Come here Mrs. Filart and let me hug you!”–and I was dying of kilig!!! It’s tragic and pathetic but I’m completely under my fiance’s spell. Barf now, will you? Here’s a bucket. Hahaha
The whole name thing got me thinking about my current family name, the beautiful name I’ve carried for 29 years of my life. Not to brag, but Laurel is a really pretty sounding name and knowing that it’s a tag that associates me to my parents makes it even more precious. I feel lucky to be their daughter and I’d like to keep using Laurel (hyphenated with Filart) for as long as I can. I don’t think I can drop it completely. On the other hand, having Patrick’s name attached to mine is also something I am so excited about! His family name could be “Muchachookukunini” and I wouldn’t mind one bit! Although, hindi na ata papayag yung Juicy Couture to embroider that on my jacket, they’ll just put initials instead.”P.L.M. nalang Maam” Haha! But that’s the thing, it’s not the name really–but what it represents. And in this case, Filart is what represents Patrick and carrying his name would mean he is committed to taking care of me forever and ever–and I am committed to receive his caring–take it take it lang ako!!! hahaha! Ok fine, I am committed to take care of him also 🙂
Just a few years ago, there was a part of me that was marriage-phobic. I knew I always wanted to get married–but I didn’t know if it was something I’d be ready for any time soon. I had many friends who got married early and would share all their woes about married life and it made me freak out. It made me generalize that marriage makes men cheating bastards and women passive doormats. There was nothing positive about the term “settling down”..it sounded so much like a double negative. You’re settling, and you’re going down!!! Oh dear!!!! It was almost like a death sentence. I had the impression that getting married meant giving up on your self–abandoning your dreams, ambitions, interests to take on the role of wife.
Then I met Patrick and all this changed for me. His presence in my life reminded me about how God himself designed marriage and that God’s purpose for marriage is sooooo far from how the world has defined it. I asked Patrick last week while we were stuck in traffic “Honey, when did you know for sure that I was going to be the girl you’d marry?” and he took a deep breath and answered, “Hmmm..when I asked you to be my girlfriend.” And I said “Wooow! So soon!!!” and he answered, “Yes. I wouldn’t have asked you to enter a relationship with me if I didn’t have any serious plans about the future. It would just be a waste of time and it would be unfair to us both.” Pat has his mushy moments but on most days, he’s just a guy, who talks like a guy with no flowery words and zero theatrics. He’s pretty straightforward and sensible, which is something I’ve always admired about him. And so assessing this statement made me see the wisdom in his decision making. Why bother to get involved with someone you don’t think you’d like to be involved with for a long period of time? It’s like enrolling in Ateneo freshman year and not planning to graduate. It’s like building a house from scratch and not planning to actually live in it. It’s like ordering a 10 inch pizza, taking a bite, and dumping the whole thing in the trash. Sure, relationships are volatile, unpredictable, and difficult–but if you get into a relationship with a “This is just temporary” mindset then chances are it will fail and heartache is just around the corner. Now if you invested in a relationship, gave it your all, and it still didn’t work (whether it’s your fault, his fault, or just not meant to be)—then at least you can still look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you tried which in most situations is better than not trying at all. I always tell my single friends to stay single and wait until they’re ready for the whole shebang. “Friends” who tell you that it’s okay to keep things complicated or to play around are obviously not your real friends. No real friend wants to see a friend get hurt, remember that.
I don’t have a crystal ball and I can’t predict what will happen to me and Patrick in the future. We fight, we argue, we disagree, he farts and I get pissed like hell at him because all his utots are deadly and my utots smell like Juniper Breeze with antibacterial properties–we fall under the same statistics, we have the same chance of failure as any other couple out there. We don’t know what God plans for us individually and as a couple. I may be writing a completely different story five years from now. All I have is what I know is true for me today: “He loves me, I love him, We both want this.” And so it’s just a daily thing really, we look to the future and plan as much as we can–but really and ultimately it’s an everyday decision. And for as long as that statement rings true, then we just have to keep working at it and surrender everything to Christ.