My body has been out of whack lately maybe because of the weather or my hormones, or both..eeepppp. Anyway, I thought I’d share how incredibly annoying I could be at times (okay, fine MOST of the time sounds more accurate). Patrick and I miraculously made it through 3 weeks without a single fight (and for married people, that deserves a slow clap!). I know of some couples who NEVER fight and that just fascinates me, how is it possible to not disagree?!? I mean, hooray for them for living the ideal but for the rest of us flawed mortals, disagreements and conflict are attached to all our relationships. We are built to be different, to think/act/conduct ourselves in our own unique ways—so yes, conflict with others seems inevitable especially in a marriage setting where you really allow yourself to be fully vulnerable out of love. I sound like a broken record here but wow, it’s really all by God’s grace lang talaga that you can survive the discord. It’s because of God’s grace, it doesn’t become a “He’s Right, She’s Wrong” but rather a “Because of God’s love” kind of relationship that definitely trumps any other standard the world has subscribed for us.
Photobombed by a Seagull
Anyway yesterday at lunch time, Patrick and I were looking for a place to eat. We considered the pretty restaurants by the Harbor but upon checking with the current status of Pat’s wallet, it just seemed too much of a splurge for us. We still had pasalubongs to buy for our family, so it made more sense to forego the nice lunch and just have a simple burger so we could spend the money saved for our loved ones instead. Sure, it probably wouldn’t be as instagram worthy—but it was food and food is always a blessing!
My darling husband, the consummate gentleman that he is, told me to grab a seat as he made his way to brave the long lines at Hungry Jacks. I found a free chair and sat there for a few minutes then a dark cloud just suddenly appeared on top of me. It was happening. Oh dear. Here it goes. MY BAD MOOD was creeping up on me. Suddenly, the table I was parked at appeared dirtier than it was 5 minutes ago (I spotted food stains streaked across) and the trash bin’s smell somehow managed to give me a whiff and that was it—my BAD MOOD officially started. I went to the line and told Patrick to just get the food to go so we could find a park bench to sit in instead. Without asking why, my Patrick just gave in to my request and within 5 minutes he had a brown paper bag in one hand and the drinks in another. He handed me a pile of tissues and ketchup packets to carry. When we got to our selected bench, one ketchup packet fell on the ground and I just let out a loud grunt. I was soooooo mad at that ketchup packet! In my head I was like, seriously brotha?!?! You wanted to just jump out of my hand and be free?!?!
Then I started eating my burger and fries and then an army of seagulls came flocking—giving me the stink eye that bullies usually give to the little wimps in class. The seagulls definitely had that “Asan na yung baon mo?!?!” look—ready to attack any minute, looking at me fiercely and ready to peck me down ’til I surrender my fries. This totally stressed me out!!!! They were motioning towards me and I was having a serious panic attack. I’ve loved seagulls all my life but all of a sudden I really, really, really was terrified of them at that moment. So I just dumped my food back into the brown paper bag and just let out another grunt. This time with extra dragon steam through my nose. I was being a brat and my mood just completely enveloped me—leaving me completely irrational and idiotic. Through all this of course, my husband was just watching me and letting me have my grumpy pants moment—I find out later that he was just laughing inside at how crazy and overly dramatic I was acting. Getting angry over jumping ketchup packets and fun loving seagulls who wanted to steal my fries. Okay, it does sound hilarious but when you’re in a bad mood, everything just seems 10x more annoying and irritating than it really is.
I ate my burger and fries with my full “I hate the world” mask on. I didn’t say a word but my crumpled face was more than enough to send a loud message. Patrick just munched on happily and didn’t mind me. We finished our lunch and then the bad mood switch just shut off in an instant. I stood there realizing how incredibly shallow and annoying I was and how I ruined a perfectly romantic picnic with my husband—all because I was in a bad mood. Instead of appreciating the prudence of my husband who would rather go on a simple lunch than blow our entire budget on a fancy meal or appreciating the seagulls who wanted to chill with us and make it a real picturesque “You are in Sydney” moment—I was busy being pissed off for no particular reason. We crossed the street and I gave my husband a hug and said sorry for my bad mood. Pat hugged me back and as we walked back to the hotel, he did a complete re-enactment of my “Galit sa Ibon” hissy fit with matching rolling of eyes, grunts, squinting eyes and all out sungit. I kept laughing at how spot on he was and embarrassed at the same time. He even teased that he knew exactly what I was thinking at the moment but just chose to give me my space so I could ease out of it. He said my frame of thinking was “I’m angry. He didn’t do anything. But I want to blame him for it just because!!!!” HAHAHAHA! And yes, that was what I had in my mind. My natural instinct was to blame someone for the “bad” things happening to me—but thankfully I was convicted in my thoughts and backtracked with that one. I knew that my bad mood was clouding my judgment so through my bad mood I was praying for God to guard my tongue, that I wouldn’t say something to stir things up with Patrick and that I would just let it pass. So I sat there, obviously annoyed but still by God’s grace holding my tongue. I still wasted a good 30 minutes because of my bratty display, but because I asked for God to help me at my time of weakness—I saved myself and my husband from a possible long and arduous fight.
This whole incident taught me a lot of things. 1)Seagulls are our friends 2)Ketchup packets don’t jump—they FLY! 3)Sometimes we are so consumed with finding fault over the small things that we miss out on the glory of the BIG picture and how God is working in our lives. Focus your energy on the positive! 4) When bad things happen, don’t point the blame on to others—or worse, don’t blame God! 5)Bad things happen all the time, but it doesn’t mean you have to have a BAD attitude towards LIFE because of it. 6) When you know you did something wrong, learn how to say sorry thoughtfully. 7)When you find yourself thinking irrational, unfair, and sinful thoughts—PRAY. Ask God to fill your mind and heart with things that would honor him. Yes, even if it involves ketchup packets.