I’ve never been bullied growing up. Or perhaps I was bullied but I was too naive to ever feel that I was actually being bullied. Hahaha. That’s more likely! I grew up happy in my dorkiness and owned my awkwardness. And I never ever felt the urge to bully someone else, to make another human being’s life miserable, to deliberately put someone down, or to just intentionally inflict pain on someone. I’m no saint, I don’t have a spotless record, I have wronged many people in the past..but I just never understood the point of being purposefully mean. A few friends and I were discussing the power of social networking sites and how people have become more cocky in the past few years simply because they can hide behind their keyboards and remain anonymous. Twitter, Facebook, Blogs and Online Forums are great venues to promote social awareness, reconnect with people, and send positive messages..but some people also choose to use these social networking sites to fuel negativity, camouflage personal insecurities by attacking others, and basically bully the people they can never bully in real life. It’s an artificial power that makes you feel good for 5 minutes then it’s back to feeling rotten all over again. Being mean is only fun for a while but after it just brings even more hurt and emptiness deep down inside. Even something as simple as commenting on someone’s appearance, calling someone “fat” “panget” “jologs”, or judging someone’s personal life decisions..all these are forms of online bullying. We are all guilty of this.
You don’t have to be rich and famous, or a celebrity, or a political figure to be a victim of cyber bullying. It happens everyday and it happens to everyone. I’m nowhere close to famous, I’m virtually unknown, only a handful of people know my name..yet I have been a victim of people’s attacks online as well. A long time ago, I was bullied like never before by complete strangers. Sadly, unlike most celebrities who actually crave attention and believe that negative publicity is still good publicity..I was a very fragile, normal, law-abiding citizen..a weakazoid who wasn’t emotionally prepared for the unnecessary attacks from random folks. Buti sana kung astig ako, if I were thick-skinned and ready for anything..but nooooo, I was a wuss who felt sad that people made up lies about me 🙁 It hurt a lot. Aguyyy.
Many of you know I had a long relationship in the past with a good, decent man. He was a public figure, so indirectly I was also forced into the spotlight because of this. It was a nice and comfortable union but we had different core beliefs which made our life plans oppose each other. I believed in marriage, family and God. He DIDN’T quite get it the same way I did. He was good to me in the many years we were together, but he chose to do something that hurt me deeply which made staying together no longer an option. (This is something I have chosen to forgive a long time ago). We both decided to part ways amicably and we remained friends. I dealt with the heartbreak in silence for months. I struggled to keep a semblance of normalcy in my life, I kept myself busy, I channeled all my energy into my work, I tried to focus on the positive rather than sulking on the negative. I prayed, prayed, and prayed desperately for healing. It was hard enough to wake up every morning to drive to work but to make matters worse, news finally broke and people started commenting and sharing their personal takes on MY relationship. A relationship they were never a part of, a relationship of two people they never even met.
Ang lakas ng loob ng mga tao humirit at gumawa ng mga kwento, para bang kilalang-kilala nila ako.. Talo pa nila yung nanay at tatay ko! Parang close kami! Ang nakakatawa, hindi naman ako sikat..kaya hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako na pinag-uusapan ako o mapipikon na nakikialam sila sa buhay ko..Dapat ba magpasalamat ako? Thanks guys for wasting your net cafe credits on me! So touched guys!! Anobayantsong! Hahaha! Once I saw a series of tweets by random girls who were exchanging disrespectful messages about my personal life. Normally I would let these things slide, I figured it wasn’t worth my time and stress..but at the same time, I felt compelled to defend myself. So I did. But to find the words to answer back gracefully pagkatapos kang bastusin..hayyyy, talagang ipinagdasal ko talaga yung sarili ko. Napakahirap magpakumbaba sa mga sitwasyon na ganito kung saan lubos kang sinasaktan at inaapi ng mga taong di mo ka-ano ano at di mo naman kilala.
WHY did I choose to speak about this after a year of staying mum? Because a lot of people out there are victims of bullying too and it’s time to put an end to it. Here’s my movie line moment….”If I could convince just one bully to change his ways through this post…or just one victim to have a voice and speak up..then I would consider this endeavor a success!!!” *SLOW CLAP* But seriously, that’s the goal of this very personal post. If it means I have to be vulnerable and open up to all of you, then so be it!
I was not as confident before. I chose to brush it off because I thought that it would just die down like any little chismis. Besides, I was just so happy and giddy with a totally unexpected,new found love..that I forgot all about the negativity online. Sometimes God just takes you to a place of true joy and happiness, a place that shines so bright that it just makes all your past pains feel like a blur! Ok, sounds silly..kulang nalang rainbows and unicorns, but it’s true!!!! 🙂 🙂 Ano ba yan, I got side tracked by kilig..back to the moral of this post!
Today, I felt encouraged to finally address it in detail. I have been blessed by all my readers who visit this blog day in and day out, I owe it to all of you to make this a platform for positivity. Minsan puro jokes at kalokohan nalang sinusulat ko dito..siguro kailangan ko din magpaka-seryoso. So allow me to share some Manang tidbits of wisdom. Being MEAN is NOT cool, kids. It wasn’t cool then and it will never be cool in the future. Whoever said “Nice guys finish last” was MEAN. Nice guys don’t get the same things the MEAN dudes get, not because they were inferior but simply because nice people value different things, things that last a lifetime and provide true fulfillment while mean and shallow people focus their energy on futile and temporary joys. I may regret posting this someday..and some might just make fun of me for being overly-emotional and preachy. But I guess I just have to go with my gut feel and trust that my readers are sensible people with big hearts. Let’s challenge each other to practice more sensitivity and kindness, whether online or in our daily transactions at work, home, or school. As someone close to me once said “Imagine if we all practiced humility and that each person’s goal was to out-love the other..imagine what a wonderful world we would be living in.”Hey even Jesus, the main man, said it himself “Love one another.” It’s hard, but hey, it’s the only commandment that matters. So let’s make NICE, IN again!!! Ipapauso ko na! “Nice guys FINISH ice cream!” Hahahahaha, labo!!!:)