My Mom, My Friend.

20. What was I doing when I was 20? Hmm. I was busy working on my thesis. Ordering chicken fingers at the caf. Buying a new pair of jeans on sale. Finishing my degree in AB Pa-Cute, Minoring in Palusot.  (Aminin niyo na, graduate din kayo sa mga kursong yan!) In short, I was lost, reckless, and carefree when I was 20. When my mom was 20, she was busy with something far less important…you know, giving birth to me LANG naman! How she managed to become a mother at such a young age still eludes me to this day. I can barely care for myself now, how much more for another tiny human being?!?! Bilib ako sa nanay ko.
Growing up, there was always a promise of beauty on the horizon even if as a child my look was..err..not very promising. I remember watching my mom at age 6 and just itching to grow up so I could be pretty like her too. I was a happy, chubby adolescent, I was always in my loose Giordano blues and totally rocked my buhaghag hair! I looked like crap (well, it was sort of a requirement in the 90s when grunge was so IN.) but I never had a big “I hate the way I look” phase because I was always so sure of my inner awesomeness and carried my pubescent awkwardness with pizazz! I knew that one day, someday..I’ll finally look exactly like my mom and will break hearts! Naks! 🙂 Kahit saan kami pumunta, my mom would naturally stand out…be it in a parent teacher conference, a family reunion, a church gathering, etc. And my mom is not one who tries too hard to command attention, she doesn’t dress to impress, she normally wears minimal makeup, in fact, she doesn’t even like expensive jewelry. She would happily trade in a fancy Rolex to renovate our house. There’s just an effortless grace about her that draws people towards her and that’s something I’ve been a witness to all my life.

My mom’s biggest beauty secret would have to be her POSITIVITY. She’s just a generally optimistic person! Don’t get me wrong, she’s not positive and passive..she’s a tough cookie too and can put up a good fight. She’s very decisive and knows how to face problems head on. I wish I had her courage and positivity, but that’s something I struggle with. One of my most unappealing traits would be that I’m a natural worrier. I think ten steps ahead and create multiple scenarios in my head (half of which have zero chances of actually occurring). I overthink, I overanalyze. I’m one to stress about the possibility of being stressed in the future, even if the stress is currently non-existent. Thankfully, my mother is a pacifist. She knows exactly what to say to calm me down when I’m having one of my “moments”.  She never downplays my fears and anxieties but instead she always makes an effort to empathize, to see things the way I see them..then she proceeds to give me practical and POSITIVE advice. I must admit, about 70% of the time Im either too stubborn or too proud to follow her. But I know that during those times, she prayed for me unceasingly..and it is only because of her prayers and God’s mercy that I’m here today, matino at masaya 🙂

As a child, I was generally a “good” kid..but I was no picnic either. I gave my folks enough headaches and heartaches for them to reach their lifetime quota. My sister and I were raised to be independent thinkers, to always have an opinion, and to value ourselves as women..but this also caused problems as we grew up strong-willed and bull-headed. I don’t even remember the reasons why I fought my folks on those numerous occasions.. it could’ve been a curfew, a boy I liked whom they disapproved of, or a skirt that was an inch too short. I’m sure they were all very shallow and pointless, now that I think of it in retrospect. Pero syempre pag bata ka, tanga at mayabang ka pa eh! hehehe!:) I think as teenagers, the conflict arises when you feel like you’re straddling both sides, being a kid and an adult at the same time. (Parang Britney Spears lang diba “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman.” So basically…Bading si Britney!!! Bading!!!! And all my gay friends just rejoiced. Hahaha!) 

I recall a sermon by Pastor Peter Tanchi on Parenting, he said that as parents you should always start with a close fist (instilling firm and consistent discipline) which slowly, gradually transforms into a more relaxed open palm as your children get bigger (giving your children more independence, trusting them to make decisions on their own, releasing them into the world). And as adult-children, we should be worthy of this freedom and trust and strive to make our parents proud of us. Now, that I’m much older (and wiser, sana naman noh!!), my relationship with my mother has evolved from mother-daughter to good friends. A close fist to an open palm. From the years of being a figure of authority and discipline, she’s now one of my most trusted confidantes, foot spa partner, and Forever 21 shopping buddy. Just like with all my other friends, we still have our petty arguments and disagreements..and Im sure I am bound to disappoint her and my dad in the years to come. But I pray that soon, when it is my time to become a mother and a wife also, that I too will become a source of positivity to my kids and husband. 🙂 Pero matagal pa yan kiddies, so I shall share my positive vibes with ALL OF YOU for now. I’m sprinkling happy thoughts all over my keypad as we speak 🙂 
As a gift to all the 
Mother-Daughter tandems out there, 
I’m giving away chic accessories by 
to a few lucky blog readers and their mothers!

Kandi Treats hairpiece worn by Portugese Blogger Ines Tavares.

Check out the Kandi Treats Website to see more of their latest collection.
Simply answer this question in ONLY 3 sentences:
“If you could only thank her for 1 thing, 
What would you like to thank your MOM for?”

1. Click LIKE on the Facebook button below this post.
2. Click LIKE on the Kandi Treats Facebook Page.
3. Send your answer and home address to before September 5, 2011. Winners will be notified via email.

8 Responses to My Mom, My Friend.

  1. Your mom is truly beautiful, just like you! 🙂 And I love everything you said in this post, as I always do. I believe though, this is my first time to comment.

    But I’ve always been a fan 🙂 More power!

  2. I’ve always admired your mom, too, Patty. I definitely agree, she would always stand out not just because she was beautiful outside, but more so because she has a big heart…I know, I’ve seen that heart up close and personal… wonder if she still remembers, though. I know I do :)))
    Please send her my hugs !

  3. i am lost for words for such a personal entry. Made me wish my mom lived longer for me to get to know her like the way you know your mom.

    you look much more like sisters than a mother-daughter tandem 🙂

  4. Your mom was one of the best “Miss Silliman” beauty title holder, representing the high school dept., beauty and brain.

  5. Hello Patty.
    You really write so well.
    Indeed your Mom is very beautiful inside and out.
    She is really my female version – hehehe (joke3).
    Anyway, I admire you for writing something like this for your Mom. I should have written also something like this for my Mom – your Lola (who is your Mom’s Mom)because she is also the epitome of a very beautiful virtuous woman.
    May God bless you always Patty.
    Sincerely, Tito Noel