The Everyday Kind of Love

I am currently in Japan for a few days of happy work. Patrick will be following shortly so we can enjoy Tokyo together over the weekend..and I can’t wait!!!! I always have difficulty spending time away from Patrick, whether it’s for 1 night or 10. The temporary separation always gets to me. I’ve become this annoyingly cheesy wife who’s grown dependent on the body warmth of my husband. Hahaha! But I do appreciate these moments too because it really puts things in perspective for me. Today, I woke up grateful.

We are very simple folk. What we have is the EVERYDAY kind of love, or at least that’s what I would like to call it. I say EVERYDAY because not all days are made the same, and that’s why it’s important to have a kind of love that can weather any type of day. And I’m not only talking about the GOOD and the BAD days here. (They may seem like polar opposites but are still great backdrops for cultivating a love story because both the GOOD and BAD days make for solid memories and character shaping.) But what a lot of people forget are the days in between, the ho-hum days. The days filled with chores, errands, work deadlines, bills, and everything else. These days are forgotten and these are the days that can become a vacuum if you are not careful. You can easily get sucked in and lost in the normalcy of life. We do have our rare moments of grand gestures, surprises and sweet romantics—but I find that my marriage to Patrick is further refined by how we tread through the mundane together. 

We don’t live in romantic comedy settings wherein days seem endless, with lots of lounging around in bed in sexy lingerie and finding philosophical connections and engaging in deep conversations. Regular folk like us don’t have the time to lie in the grass and look at the stars and recite poetry to one another. For most, we don’t have that grand takbo-takbo sa airport and declare your love in front of everyone scenes. More often than not our days consist of being stuck in traffic,  wading through the floods, lining up to pay our bills, stressing over clients, agonizing over taxes, doctor’s visits, scrubbing the toilet, and other not so fun moments that we don’t see in the movies. They sort of just graze through these daily rituals and just skip to the juicy bits and make us believe that love is supposed to be always intense, exciting, dramatic and eventful with quotable quotes, pensive stares and sexy brooding, lots and lots of brooding. Hahahahaha! Just because you’re not having an exciting day, it doesn’t necessarily fall under boring. The world has taught us to just categorize routine, work, responsibility and obligation as boring–when in fact they should be moments that are celebrated as well. These are moments wherein our character is being polished, where we can show kindness, integrity, honesty and yes LOVE. When my husband pays the bills, when he meets the deadline, when he sets aside money for tithes—I don’t see duty or obligation, I see LOVE. And that to me is romantic. 

After a long day of work, we just lie down and just lambast each other with jokes. Patrick is an alaskador and we retreat back to our grade school days and just torture each other with (not so) witty comebacks and hirits in bed until we fall asleep. Sometimes it’s OKAY to just have a good laugh. Sometimes it’s okay to have Adobong Pusit and left over Lumpia and not a Wagyu Steak dinner. Sometimes it’s OKAY to not discuss Plato and Socrates. Sometimes it’s OKAY to just be in the same room and be present physically and emotionally for one another. My husband is very intelligent and this is one of the traits that I admire most about him (and I think  know he sees me as smart too), but I love that his intelligence is quiet and not boastful and that it shines through context, life decisions, and when he explains techie things to me in lay man’s terms, hehehe. 

I have been very, very, very grateful for the opportunity to travel with my husband (both for work and leisure) and we have had such an exciting marriage because of all the wonderful memories formed during our trips. I still highly recommend traveling with your spouse, it’s an amazing way to develop your friendship and appreciation for one another. Other people like to shop and have shiny things, we like to save up for travel. BUT, I also find that the days that are spent back home–being regular law abiding citizens doing work and all the other “boring” things—are just as fun, memorable and marriage-strengthening. You don’t need special occasions, trips abroad, expensive gifts to feel loved (okay, you do sometimes! HAHAHA! Who am I kidding?!?!) but what I’m trying to say is–EVERYDAY LOVE is sweeter because it is grounded on the tenants of commitment and dedication. It’s not sporadic, it’s consistent. It’s a 24-7, round the clock, rain or shine, affection or no affection, flowers and chocolates or just a peck on the cheek, traffic or no traffic on EDSA kind of love that the Bible teaches all couples to adhere to. 

I know social media can be quite a monster if you let it be, but often times I find good things about it too. Aside from all the baby pictures that make me gigil throughout the day, I especially love seeing my friends HAPPY and IN LOVE. It blesses me to see how God has blessed them in their own respective relationships—it makes it a much more tangible experience for me. To see others happy makes me understand God’s love more. I remember in one Hillsong message, the Pastor mentioned “If God can do this for them, HE can do this for me!” and that line really hit me because that’s what I’ve always practiced in my life. I love celebrating the goodness in other people’s lives. Here are some IG posts that made me smile, I thought it would be nice to post it here. To all the single ladies out there, I pray that you find a man who will love you EVERYDAY too. 🙂 🙂 

10 Responses to The Everyday Kind of Love

  1. Patty, since reading your blog posts and following you on instagram, I definitely know what kind of husband I want. I also know what kind of wife and woman I like to be. I aspire to be like you.
    I really love this post. You are living the life I can only wish to have. I hate to admit but I envy you for that. When you are having a not so great day, hope you remember that at least one person wishes the kind of life you already have. You are so blessed and you totally deserve all of it and more. I can see that you are one of those rare people who are genuinely nice. Yet again one thing I admire and aspire to be.

  2. I dream of having a love like you and your husband. You guys are great example of what a married couple should be.

  3. (Grabe, I have to retype this again because I accidentally clicked Preview and everything was gone! Shucks natatawa ko because I paused for about 20 seconds thinking of the challenge to have it exactly how I wrote it earlier. I can’t remember them! Senior moment!)

    I really admire your honest and beautiful writing, Patty. The way you clearly translate thoughts and feelings makes it easily relatable. In the early years of marriage, I realized that there is a fear of losing the romanticism of things. I was concerned if I was boring my husband or if I need to do something special to get the reassurance that, ‘Ah! He loves me!’ But later on, I discovered that you both become normal that farting in the same room is a non-issue. You are right to say that the everyday sacrifices become little indicators of your love for each other. And now, I find more meaning on that than dinner dates and special treats. I am satisfied when I annoy my husband and calls me ‘epal’ with a smile, because that’s a sign that he can’t resist my cuteness! Hahaha The feeling of being loved relates to your level of appreciation. The more babaw, the better. And I thank God that we’re very Julius and Tintin 🙂

    (Ctrl-A, Ctrl-C just in case)

  4. Hi Patty! 🙂 This is actually the first time I’m writing a comment on the blogs I read, but this was just so inspirational and happy-vibe-and-slight-tear-inducing that I just had to let you know that your writing is very much appreciated. This was such a blessing to me to day 🙂

  5. Huge fan of your talent in writing, Patty! Hope your blog becomes a book! (: God bless!

  6. Hi Ms. Patty! Got teary-eyed reading this blog post of yours. So inspiring and so heartwarming. 🙂

  7. Thank you for this. I’ve been praying about something related to this and I really believe He used you to send me a message. Thank you for the reminder to appreciate the everyday things. This is really beautifully written. I pray for even more blessings for you and your hubby.

  8. You are blessed because whether you realize it or not, you are a blessing to others – even those you do not know. I pray that you continue to live a meaningful and happy life so you can inspire more people in your simple ways. All the best, Mrs. Filart!

  9. “When my husband pays the bills, when he meets the deadline, when he sets aside money for tithes—I don’t see duty or obligation, I see LOVE. And that to me is romantic.” — i couldn’t agree. Living overseas where we do not have the luxury of having household help, everyday simple things that my husband does means the world to me. When he folds fresh laundry and knows which drawer to put my scarves, when he hangs a new bath towel near the shower before i get, when he wakes up extra early on a Saturday morning to iron his shirts so we have more time to just hang out for the rest of the day. These are the little things that matter and make me feel the luckiest girl in the world.

    When you find someone who can make the mundane things extra special then you know you have a keeper. Continue living in love and light. God bless you both. =)